2018 huh?

So, I just bought a new laptop. Like, Finally. The last laptop I owned died on my during my first semester of LLB. Nasib baik Meck bagi pinjam laptop dia. 

Then, kerja kat firm, ada PC, kerja kat MH & Altel depa bagi laptop. 

Now, let's talk about where I am now.

Since my last post, I was still working with MH. I've since moved to Brunei working with RBA.

What a long journey huh? Tak pernah sangka aku akan mai kerja sini.

I have so many things to share. Prolly I should start blogging again since aku ada banyak masa kan?

I wanna write more about my life is so that I can look back and remember. Sebab aku ni pelupa. I can't remember what happened last January. LOL.

October Mandom

I WROTE THIS IN OCTOBER 2014.

Banyak benda aku nak cakap. Banyak benda aku nak tulis. So that aku ble look back and ingat apa aku rasa at a certain moment in a certain situation.

Kalau hang tanya aku at this exact moment whether I am happy, I'd say no. But then, I'll think for about 5 minutes and I'll regret that NO.

Why? Sebab aku rasa aku tadak hak nak be unhappy. Aku kena appreciate and bersyukur setakat mana rezeki aku yang Allah bagi.

Memang kalau ikutkan hati aku, aku nak drop everything in search of that one thing that will make me happy. Prob is, aku tatau apa yang make me happy. Aku rasa the way I was brought up makes me think that there is this system that I need to follow. Expectations tak payah kata la. Papa expects me to go back to Langkawi and help him. He keeps on saying I have to open up my own practice in Langkawi. Dia tatau ka anak dia ni tak reti apa. Mama, well she supports whatever I do but she will always warn me of the risks, which most of the time, will kill whatever unrealistic plan I have.

Lets talk about my work.

So, I want to document this. I regret rejecting NewCo's offer, but with several reservations. It took me few weeks to decide that I wanted to leave MAS and accept the other offer. The main reason was solely GAJI. Memang bila orang tanya aku kata takmau buat secretarial, rugi experience wise in legal bla bla bla. But deep down, I know it's not the case. Aku tak kisah apa kerja aku buat. I know I can get the job done. Still, aku nak la enjoy along the way. Benefit wise, tak dinafikan MAS/MAB banyak gilaaaaaaaaa benefits! Other companies, understandably, they don't have a strong an vocal union to fight for all these rights. So, lambat sikit nak dapat extra.

Job security

At the age of 26, I wouldn't dare to expect a job security. In my opinion, your 20s should be the era which you should try everything, say yes to each and every opportunity. Then only settle for the best.

And the best usually come later... much later.

Where am I now? Nothing near the best, but good enough. But which the current situation of the Company I'm working with, I'd say yes to every job interview I come across. I wanna know how the market values me, where I stand and how much I can bargain for.

That being said, I went for an interview today. It was for a position similar to what I am at now, but with a retail company, known to many in KL.

I arrived half an hour early, just like any other interviews. It has its own block among other shop-houses. The parking was horrendous. I greeted the receptionist, she was pleasant. She gave me a form to fill and walked me to the meeting room. The interview was supposed to be at 11.30 am but the interview, the Head of Legal and Corp Affairs came 10 minutes later. I suppose it was a casual Friday since she was wearing a long sleeve t-shirt and jeans.

Hack. I thought I would be the *slackiest* (I know it's not a word). 

Let me cut it short, like the interview, it was short. I explained my current job and my previous work in practice. I would say I took up the questioning role in this scene. The interviewer said that the main agreements are Franchising and Tenancy Agreements and my job would vary from opening file, letter writing and photocopying stuff. In my head, I was asking her "Are you looking for a Legal Executive or a Secretary?"

I was not impressed. BUT, I was impressed by how generous the company offered me.

Result : She was ready to offer the job but with immediate notice.

Problem : My company needs a 3 months resignation notice.

Verdict: NO! LIKE A BIG NO!

If you know me, you would know I wouldn't necessarily go for the money. I enjoy working with my present company but since the infamous 2 incidents had led this flag barrier down, I would have to save my big ass and preempt my future.

Hoping for the best!

I've come so far...

... since my last post.

I left the comfort of my old firm and I have joined this infamous company. Truth be told, I don't know crap what I do on daily basis, but I got confirmed in August. So, I must be doing something right, right?

I've been to few places this year, and I enjoyed every bit of it. Major trip was Melbourne and Tasmania, where I had the best memories (despite having a few normal issues in group travel).

Looking forward for our pet project by October. We're launching something personal yet we want to share it with the world.

Till then, cheers.

Kitty Cat v Python

So, I saw this post about this guy who gave his pet python stray kitten he found at the market.

Reading the comments, most of them were cursing him and boy they cursed him well. They were saying how cute kittens are innocent and shouldn't be treated that way.

Now, lets change the character from a cute kitten into a smelly rat. Would the public still condemn him?

I bet not. You see, (most) people prefer pretty, cute and lovable things. Everything must be sugarcoated and dreamy.

In Malaysia especially, you can be rich just by selling beauty products- whitening products. Gullible internet users go bonkers over Tanaka, Wonderglow and what not.

Now, back to that smelly rat. Is anybody out there willing to fight for his right (if any) not to be victimised as a meal to that python?

Preamble

I feel a bit jittery after all these rumors and announcements on price hikes.

I am now at a vulnerable stage, career wise. Let alone talking about starting a family.

So many exciting plans are playing in my head for 2014. 2014 should be my "YEAR OF OWNING" and stepping out of my comfort zone.

Not knowing what the future holds, I am anxious.

I don't agree with Que Sera Sera.

I think schools should opt for a program where they call their ex-students or show clips of "A day in the life of a (insert job/position)".

When I finished highschool, I had no idea what I wanted to be. I wasn't exposed (enough) to what kind of jobs available out there, what kind of courses should I enroll in and what are the day-to-day tasks/ work involved under what position/post and most importantly, DO I REALLY WANT THIS JOB?

So my friends and I filled up our UPU forms without knowing anything about the courses we applied for and just judging by the name of the courses.

Little did I know, I had no interest in any of them.

Prolly there are schools doing this already but unfortunately I didn't have the privilege of having that during my time. I was so overwhelmed by the concept of science-stream and having to further my studies in science-related courses and be a chemist/ engineer/ scientist (LOL).

What I’m trying to say is, I don’t want my brother and sisters to jump into something they don’t want to do, when they reach this phase I’m in now.

The first of 2013

I took the whole month off, to focus on my exam and guess what? (What?) I didn't do well. What a waste of time.

I feel so ashamed. I'm not used to failures. Astaghfirullah. I know that's not a good thing to say but, I hate failures. I hate myself for not doing the best I could.

I make-believe that those around me have somekind of expectations from me. Well that put a lot of pressure on me. I keep on telling myself not to create unnecessary stress but there I was, whatsapping my lecturer after my exams, discussing the exam questions.

I was talking to my friend the other day about those 2 exams but she was all positive and chill that I felt like punching that positive face. Haha. On the other hand, I was complaining, cursing, and bitter about my non-performance.

I wanted to cry the hell out of my eyes but I'm not the kind that can cry easily when it comes to my own personal feeling. I can cry about some kid being tortured, watching a romantic movie, watching cartoons, but not about my own story. When I was in school, I had this phase in my life which was really dark and a lot of hatred, towards everybody. I tell myself everynight that if I cry, I'm a loser. If I cry, I'm not strong, if I cry, the other person wins. That is bloody wrong! I think crying will make you feel better. I literally forced myself cried few times but ended up laughing at myself.

Why is it that every paragraph starts with the letter I? Guess I need to improve my writing skill.

I'm tired, and unhappy.

To my future self, you sucked big time and screw the fuck up during your final semester. See if it changed anything about you. If it didn't, please come in my dream tonight and tell me that it's going to be OK.

The tale of the best part of a chicken.

Once upon a time, (imagine my house, during raya, with few dishes of golek ayam and golek itik) there was this young lady eating with her family members (uncles, aunties, cousins, friends and.... cats). She was aiming for the chicken drumstick, which for her was the best part of the chicken. Little did she know everyone else were eyeing on the other part. The what part? The end part. Which end? That end! What the hell? It's the cenonot. Cenonot? It sounds funny. No? It's the bishop's nose. Wait, don't go all religious on me. OK, OK, it's PUNGKOQ AYAM.

The end.

Die skinny

I would make a pretty trendy IT girl if I were to be skinnier and richer.

Just saying.

Proud to say...

I've freaking moved on.

Rock bottom

Salam,

To hit rock bottom: When someone hits rock bottom, they reach a point in life where things could not get any worse.

perhaps

Well, perhaps you always fail because you never really want to succeed. Don't you think so?

Jealousy

Well, I'm not trying to say that I'm ungrateful but everything seems to be going the other way round for me. People around me are leading a happy-easy-life. Don't get me wrong, I know, they do have problems of their own but they still have time for themselves. 

Marriage supersedes Friendship

When I finally logged into this blog, I swear I heard crickets chirping to "Baby One More Time" by Britney but only the "my loneliness is killing me" part.

Now, back to the post. I think the title is self-explanatory. 

If you are in your mid 20s, or worse, late 20s, you'll understand. Majority of your friends are either getting hitched, engaged or married. I call this year of 2012, the Wedding Year and what leads after wedding? BABIESSSSSSS. So brace yourselves, next year will be a babyboom. 

Some said that I was jealous. Well, actually I'm not. 

It's just that I'm disheartened.

Some of my friends, whom I was sooooo close with barely text me. I tried few times, tried to arrange for a meet up, but then they just go silent.

Few months later, a few days before the D-Day, came the invitation.

Another incident was, a friend checked-in somewhere nearby all the way from my hometown, with her so called fiance. Gulp.

Now I know where I stand.

Pupil

I started my pupillage last February. I'm  happy now with the new firm. My Master is beyond the word nice. He's an angel. He wanted to be a lecturer, he was a lecturer in fact. I guess that's why he is more into teaching us rather than using us as cheap labors. I'm grateful and bless. Thanks Lord.

:)

TAK MAU

Junko Furuta. 

The girl who went through 44 days of torture.

DAY 1: November 22, 1988: Kidnapped
Kept captive in house, and posed as one of boy’s girlfriend
Raped (over 400 times in total)
Forced to call her parents and tell them she had run away
Starved and malnutritioned
Fed cockroaches to eat and urine to drink
Forced to masturbate
Forced to strip in front of others
Burned with cigarette lighters
Foreign objects inserted into her vagina/anus

DAY 11: December 1, 1988: Severely beat up countless times
Face held against concrete ground and jumped on
Hands tied to ceiling and body used as a punching bag
Nose filled with so much blood that she can only breath through her mouth
Dumbbells dropped onto her stomach
Vomited when tried to drink water (her stomach couldn’t accept it)
Tried to escape and punished by cigarette burning on arms
Flammable liquid poured on her feet and legs, then lit on fire
Bottle inserted into her anus, causing injury

DAY 20: December10, 1989: Unable to walk properly due to severe leg burns
Beat with bamboo sticks
Fireworks inserted into anus and lit
Hands smashed by weights and fingernails cracked
Beaten with golf club
Cigarettes inserted into vagina
Beaten with iron rods repeatedly
Winter; forced outside to sleep in balcony
Skewers of grilled chicken inserted into her vagina and anus, causing bleeding

DAY 30: Hot wax dripped onto face
Eyelids burned by cigarette lighter
Stabbed with sewing needles in chest area
Left nipple cut and destroyed with pliers
Hot light bulb inserted into her vagina
Heavy bleeding from vagina due to scissors insertion
Unable to urinate properly
Injuries were so severe that it took over an hour for her to crawl downstairs and use the bathroom
Eardrums severely damaged
Extreme reduced brain size

DAY 40: Begged her torturers to “kill her and get it over with”

January 1, 1989: Junko greets the New Years Day alone
Body mutilated
Unable to move from the ground

DAY 44: January 4, 1989: The four boys beat her mutilated body with an iron barbell, using a loss at the game of Mah-jongg as a pretext. She is profusely bleeding from her mouth and nose. They put a candle’s flame to her face and eyes.

Then, lighter fluid was poured onto her legs, arms, face and stomach, and then lit on fire. This final torture lasted for a time of two hours.

Junko Furuta died later that day, in pain and alone. Nothing could compare 44 days of suffering she had to go through.

When her mother heard the news and details of what had happened to her daughter, she fainted. She had to undergo a psychiatric outpatient treatment . Imagine her endless pain.

Her killers are now free men. Justice was never served, not even after 20 years.
They deserve a punishment much greater than they had put upon Furuta, for putting an innocent girl through the most unbearable suffering.

This story from 1989 is true. Please spread her story around. Everyone should know about the existence of Junko Furuta’s unimaginable and incomprehensible suffering, and this is why this group has been made.

Invite your friends. Never let her story be forgotten. If this story changes the life of at least one person then it has been worth it.

Rest In Eternal Peace,
Junko Furuta
1989-Eternity

via

*snaps fingers in Z*