Nov 7, 2016

October Mandom

I WROTE THIS IN OCTOBER 2014.

Banyak benda aku nak cakap. Banyak benda aku nak tulis. So that aku ble look back and ingat apa aku rasa at a certain moment in a certain situation.

Kalau hang tanya aku at this exact moment whether I am happy, I'd say no. But then, I'll think for about 5 minutes and I'll regret that NO.

Why? Sebab aku rasa aku tadak hak nak be unhappy. Aku kena appreciate and bersyukur setakat mana rezeki aku yang Allah bagi.

Memang kalau ikutkan hati aku, aku nak drop everything in search of that one thing that will make me happy. Prob is, aku tatau apa yang make me happy. Aku rasa the way I was brought up makes me think that there is this system that I need to follow. Expectations tak payah kata la. Papa expects me to go back to Langkawi and help him. He keeps on saying I have to open up my own practice in Langkawi. Dia tatau ka anak dia ni tak reti apa. Mama, well she supports whatever I do but she will always warn me of the risks, which most of the time, will kill whatever unrealistic plan I have.

Lets talk about my work.

So, I want to document this. I regret rejecting NewCo's offer, but with several reservations. It took me few weeks to decide that I wanted to leave MAS and accept the other offer. The main reason was solely GAJI. Memang bila orang tanya aku kata takmau buat secretarial, rugi experience wise in legal bla bla bla. But deep down, I know it's not the case. Aku tak kisah apa kerja aku buat. I know I can get the job done. Still, aku nak la enjoy along the way. Benefit wise, tak dinafikan MAS/MAB banyak gilaaaaaaaaa benefits! Other companies, understandably, they don't have a strong an vocal union to fight for all these rights. So, lambat sikit nak dapat extra.